NFL Agrees to Demands by Mothers Against Peyton Manning Commercials

NEW YORK.  NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell emerged from a tense, four-hour meeting with children’s television activists last night to announce that the league would place limits on the number and duration of Peyton Manning commercials in future broadcasts.

Goodell:  “They made some good points, now I wish they’d just dry up and blow away.”

“We are gratified that the Commissioner understands the risk to our nation’s youth of a constant barrage of mindless advertisements” featuring the Super Bowl XLI MVP, said Alicia Hartsell of Mothers Against Peyton Manning Commercials.  “The average American child will watch 972 hours of Peyton Manning ads by the time he or she is four, for an average of 1,215 minutes per month and a Quarterback Viewer Rating of 101.3.”

Not another!

Manning is currently featured in national advertisements for Mastercard, Sprint, Sony, Gatorade, Rocco’s Texaco and Smitty’s Bait and Tackle of Muncie, Indiana.  The push to limit commercials aimed at children was started by Sesame Workshop, a non-profit producer of several educational children’s programs including Sesame Street.

Cookie Monster:  “Me have strong side curl-to-flat responsibilities in 5-2 Monster Defense!”

Sesame Workshop produces educational content for a variety of media, including on-line math quiz questions such as the following: 

“I’m full–I had some celery last year.”

Tom, Gisele and Bridget need to cross a lake in a canoe to go to a picnic.  The canoe will only hold Tom, the picnic basket and one supermodel at a time.  Q: What should Tom leave behind? A: The picnic basket–the supermodels can survive on a celery stalk between them.