HOUSTON. When the Houston Rockets looked in the mirror the morning after a 100-88 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers last night, they probably didn’t like what they saw. They’re in fourth place in the Southwest Division of the Western Conference, and Tracy McGrady left the game in the second half with a sprained right ankle.
Afterwards Yao Ming challenged McGrady to step up his game or step down as team leader. Yao’s complaint? “T-Mac has no liver,” the Chinese center told reporters, speaking without a translator.
“What’s he talking about?” was McGrady’s reaction. “If I didn’t have a liver how the hell could I convert glucose into glycogen?”
The liver, without onions.
Asked to elaborate, Yao explained that the Chinese consider the liver–not the heart–to be the seat of human emotions and the source of inner strength. “For 4,000 years Chinese know that emotions go as liver goes. T-Mac should BLEEP it up–that is all I am saying.”
Heart = Liver
Yao substantiated his claim by showing reporters a pirated Chinese CD of the mid-70’s girl group “Heart”. The rock band’s name was translated as “Liver”.
Battier: “No, seriously–you can have one of my livers.”
The charges are sure to divide a team desperately in need of unity. Shane Battier came to McGrady’s defense and pledged to donate one of his livers to the Rocket’s leading scorer. When informed that the human body contains only one such organ, Battier rescinded his offer. “I thought they was like kidneys–you know, everybody starts out with a pair.”
Coach Rick Adelman suggested that McGrady take time off to deal with his personal issues, and Yao seconded that notion. “He should go to China where harvested body parts are plentiful. He could get a liver for the price of Peking duck at a good restaurant.”
