It’s been a tough week for the mainstream media. It turns out that The New York Times, the newspaper whose motto is “All the News That’s Fit to Print”, didn’t see fit to print the story of John Edwards’ affair when it was dropped in their lap earlier this year. Instead, The Times pursued a story that was ultimately discredited about a possible affair between John McCain and a lobbyist. Could politics have played a part in The Times’ decision to pursue a rumor about a Republican but not a Democrat? Nah–The Times’ ombudsman looked into it and found nothing to see, move right along, folks.
Meanwhile, The National Enquirer–the supermarket tabloid known for screaming headlines about two-headed babies and bad behavior by Britney Spears–pursued the story of Edwards’ affair even as they were being called every name in the book by the former trial lawyer and U.S. Senator. The Enquirer stuck to its guns and was ultimately proven right.
“I also did not have sex with that woman, which is why I should be president!”
Which raises the question–could the supermarket tabloids be right about other stories that have been pooh-poohed by Big Media? You’d better believe it, and Gerbil News Network has the details.
Hillary Clinton’s Lesbian Love Affair with Unisex Alien! Alien life forms have evolved beyond sex, like Presbyterian women on earth. They are thus hermaphroditic multi-gender creatures, meaning Hillary Clinton’s long-running affair with her alien partner Ch3Xr 2-Y& from the Crab Nebula galaxy makes her a lesbian!
“I’ll see you in the men’s room.”
Camilla Parker-Bowles is a Man in Drag! You can ignore the perfunctory denials from the House of Windsor–”Camilla Parker-Bowles” is actually Pink Floyd bass player Roger Waters in drag! Don’t believe me? Ask yourself this question. Have you ever seen the two in the same room together? I didn’t think so.
Pink Floyd’s Roger Waters and Camilla Parker-Bowles: The resemblance is striking.
Britney Spears Was a Member of Hitler’s Inner Circle! Sure, the mainstream media dutifully report Britney’s stint with the Mouseketeers, but you never read a thing about her early years as a member of a double-dutch jump rope team that included Eva Braun, Hitler’s mistress. Cover-up, or something more sinister?
Britney as Mousketeer, and Double-Dutch Jump Rope partner of Eva Braun
Madeleine Albright: “Mr. Foot and I are just friends. Next question.”
Bigfoot’s Torrid Love Affair With Madeleine Albright. Bigfoot, the ape-like creature that walks upright like a man, has made no secret of the strange attraction that Madeleine Albright, the first female Secretary of State, holds for him.
Bigfoot
“Ungalunga-lunga”, Bigfoot told Barbara Walters in an exclusive interview to be aired this Sunday. Meanwhile, Albright denies that the two shared an apartment during the second Clinton administration, saying they were “just friends” and that “she respects Mr. Foot’s privacy” in refusing to answer questions about the inter-species affair that was an open secret in Washington from 1997 to 1999.
Well–what did you expect her to say?
