WASHINGTON, D.C. Rocked by a second revelation of infidelity by a high-ranking party official within a week, the Repubican Governors Association today appointed a panel of three babelicious beauties to manage the organization’s affairs while it deals with the adverse publicity.
Jindal: “Guys–where’s my date?”
“We’re focused on solutions, not problems,” said Assistant Executive Director Sherburne Taylor. “We don’t like to be known as the party that always says ‘No’, so we’re trying to say ‘Yes’ more often.”
“Is that a minority report in your pocket, or are you just glad to see us?”
The panel will consist of Misti Fogg, a receptionist from Arlington, Virginia; Destiny Hope, a steak restaurant hostess from Tysons Corner, Maryland; and Naomi Jean Embree, an aerobics instructor from Wilmington, Delaware, who is undergoing name implant surgery.
Sanford: “Can’t a guy take a couple of days off, lie about his whereabouts, and go to Argentina with a bodacious galpal without everybody getting all bent out of shape?”
Nevada Senator John Ensign last week disclosed that he had had an affair with a campaign staffer, and this afternoon Virginia Governor Mark Sanford revealed at a press conference that a recent unexplained absence from office was spent in Argentina with “a dear, very dear, oh my God yes that’s it–YES! Ahem–dear friend.”
“He wants to know if our refrigerator is running for President in 2012.”
The troika of buxom beauties will handle filing, typing, large and small Post-It Notes and party strategy leading into the 2010 mid-term elections. Rising star Bobby Jindal, Governor of Louisiana, said the appointment of the three women to handle party affairs was an interim measure. “We will take on additional staff as needed,” Jindal told reporters. “For some reason I didn’t get a girlfriend in the first round of hiring.”
