NATICK, Mass. Tyler Brogan is a 16-year-old rising high school junior in this suburb west of Boston, and to all appearances he fits the model of the “slacker dude” so often reviled by cultural critics. “Maybe I was once,” he says as he wipes a trace of Straw-Banna smoothie from the corner of his mouth. “But that was before I heard about that Australian girl.”
Jessica Watson
Brogan is referring to Jessica Watson, a 16-year-old Australian girl who will try to become the youngest person to sail solo, unassisted and without stopping, around the world in a 34-foot yacht. “We watched a TV show about her on the last day of school,” he says as he checks his iPhone. “I thought to myself–wow–I’ve got to go for my dream too.”
And so Brogan will attempt to parallel Watson’s feat without leaving the climate-controlled comfort of the Natick Mall, an upscale shopping concourse currently in bankruptcy proceedings near his home. He will play “Dance Dance Revolution”, an aerobic-video dance game at an arcade here, for 230 consecutive days, the time it will take Watson to circumnavigate the globe.
“I could really go for a Skate ‘n Sardine Smoothie right now!”
Child welfare authorities have reacted with alarm, saying a boy Brogan’s age should not concentrate on a single form of physical activity, and should be in school. “I don’t know what their problem is,” he says. “Summer vacation’s three months long, so that’s like, 200 days right there, right?”
In training
Brogan hopes to become the youngest person to do something really stupid over a long period of time in a shopping mall, the record for which is currently held by Todd Newjetski of Downer’s Grove, Illinois. Newjetski drank a large Orange Julius smoothie for 215 consecutive days in 2004 before dying of dehydration after contracting sudden-onset diarrhea.
Dance Dance Revoluton is the leading video game in the mall rat rhythm and dance genre. Players stand on a “dance platform” and attempt to hit colored arrows with their feet to musical and visual cues while mall patrons stand outside and laugh at them. Players are judged by how well they time their dance steps to patterns presented to them, and are pummeled by members of their high school football team when they leave the arcade.
“I wish I could get a date so I’d have somebody to dance with!”
Brogan is subjecting himself to a rigorous training routine to prepare for his epic journey, logging a half-hour of dance time every morning and afternoon until the end of June. “A lot of people say what I’m doing is dangerous,” he says with a sly smile at a gaggle of girls who eye him as they pass by. “They don’t know what dangerous is until they’ve tried the sausage and pepperoni cheesy crust pizza at Papa Gino’s.”
