Whenever life seems to be crashing down around me, with looming deadlines, missing cats and wayward teenagers on my doorstep saying “Your car just crashed into a tree,” I don’t turn to religion, meditation or drugs. No, help is just a few taps away on my computer thanks to the thoughtful folks at msn.com, who crank out pithy checklists to keep yourself sane such as The 10 Habits of Highly Organized People.
But what makes the msn.com lifestylists so sure their lives are any better than the quiet desperation endured by others? Who died and left them boss? Who ever said organization was a good thing?
“I know that cents-off coupon for a Wendy’s Frosty is down here somewhere!”
“Moderation in all things,” saith Publius Terentius Afer, Roman comic dramatist known as “Terence” to his friends, and who is msn.com lifestyle to argue with a guy who won four “Julie” awards for his laugh-riot sitcom “Caesar Salad!”
Terence: One funny, funny guy.
No, if you’re going to stay organized, it’s best that you cut the list in half, otherwise you’ll never get through it and you’ll run out of time to straighten up your sock drawer. Here are the five essential habits of highly organized people. Laminated wallet-size versions available for just $1.25, two for $4.
“Has anyone seen Kitsy lately? Because something smells.”
Habit #1: Basically, everything is “miscellaneous”. Think about it. Why bother to have a word such as “miscellaneous”–meaning “consisting of diverse things or members”–unless you’re going to use it. Diversity is good, right? So create a “miscellaneous” room in your house or apartment, and “MISC-Zones” throughout your living space. You’ll find filing and cleaning up is a breeze!
Home sweet over-decorated home
Habit #2: Separate emotions from possessions. Those swags and jabots your wife loves that are blocking your college dorm man-speakers? Who needs ‘em? They’re just collecting dust, which can cause emphysema, asthma, and Eritrea. To be on the safe side, don’t leave them out on the curb–take them to the municipal dump today!
Eritrea: Emphysema sold separately.
Habit #3: There is no habit #3. There used to be, but somebody put habit #4 down on top of it, and now nobody can find it.
That’s better!
Habit #4: Everything you own should be stackable. Plastic food containers, outdoor furniture cushions, family members, pets and relatives are all handier to use if they are stored neatly on top of each other. During tense and crowded holiday seasons, remember to use a firm and stable mother-in-law as your base!
“Into the closet–both of you!”
Habit #5: Ask for help. When household clutter reaches third-world bazaar proportions, reach out to friends and family to assist you!
Antler dance pantomime
Then set up the long-lost slide projector you uncover for a pantomime version of the antler dance–you won’t be sorry!
I don’t know what organizasun is, and I can’t find my dicsunary.
It’s underneath your thesaurus.
If only ones relatives were so compliant — mine certainly aren’t.
That list was way too organized,… LOL
Love your humor X-D (laughin’ hard).
I consider myself a highly organized person. “How to avoid…” peaked my curiousity. I’m totally busted… You have discovered my secret of organization!
MISCELLANEOUS It!!!
Jonahs Sister
:/
I kinda wanna anonymously print this out and leave it in the mailbox of one of my co-workers.
Shoot! why is everybody always stacking on me?
(Sung to the melody of the refrain of the old pop song “Charlie Brown” ie: “charlie Brown, he’s a clown, that Charlie….” etc.)
Wish I was organised but I’m a hoarder.
Wikipedia – Compulsive hoarding (or pathological hoarding or disposophobia or the Messie
mindset) is a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to acquire.
“MISC-Zones”: Inspired!
Thanks for the laugh, and congrats on the homepage placement!
Thanks. I come from Gather and Open Salon in peace. Where is the homepage to wordpress? I noticed I went from 35 views to 3,000, but have no idea where the homepage is or what it looks like.
http://www.wordpress.com
Yey.
Disorganisation is a way of life.
x
Hehe, stackable relatives. love it
awesome funny site !
http://viavio.nl
Joyce says: No list at all, just get your ass to the party!
I think the MSN guys are running out of ideas. Just yesterday they had a list called the 10 best and worst foods for your sinuses. Doesn’t this seem a little desperate? LOL, hilarious. Thanks for posting!
This was quite an enjoyable diversion from talking about people’s poo, digestion, skin problems. etc etc. Thanks for the laugh!!
You are funny. I am a chocolate mess. George Carlin would be horrified if he were still alive. Organization avoidance – my hobby.
Humorous! I am organized but not to the point of being too meticulous and ending up getting frustrated! I never knew Mother-in-law’s were that bad.
I like this. Perhaps I’ll try it, thanks for posting!
This is too damn funny!
A very amusing post, I enjoyed reading it and am impressed by your ability to back your 5 habits (or was that 4 i lost one) with evidence.
I have a few designated MISC-ZONES myself
My mother inlaw refuse’s to get in the base plastic container.
I once had a bad case of Eritrea, but some penicillin I got from the UN cleared it right up
My miscellaneous children are all stackable, and I am not emotionally attached to them whatsoever. Guess that makes me organized!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!
Funny. I am all for the stackable recommendation.
Habit #2: Separate emotions from possessions….What a tip. I should really try this one. Gosh, if you see my room, it’s filled with memorabilia rather than useful stuffs.
and oh, I love it when you said “Habit #3: There is no habit #3. There used to be, but somebody put habit #4 down on top of it, and now nobody can find it.”
LOL!
I laughed my backside off!! #1 rule – misc. – is known as my office (work from home), which reaches throughout the enitre house. At least until my real office has been completly built (soon), then it’ll be easily contained. Thanks for the laugh!
I am more pleased with the habit # 5, more fun and easy, simply by asking people around us .. maybe?!
I agree with #4 lol
Best piece of advice- Cut the list in half. We are attacked with so much efficiency tactics we end up drowning in them. Well played…
http://olderbrothersadvice.wordpress.com/
funny, yes. But the humor is the terrible truth, eh?
DanG!
Still NO WAY I’m getting the relatives in on this!
Some valuable vests, and..let’s see…Oh Yeah. This pocket knife!
I know the one blade is broken, but, at least the file is still on it.
“Plastic food containers, outdoor furniture cushions, family members, pets and relatives are all handier to use if they are stored neatly on top of each other.” That’s funny!
If only I could get my mother-in-law to hold still at the bottom, but she keeps squirming away.
See, that’s where you went wrong. You put the Mother-in-law INSIDE the container with a snap on lid. Don’t worry – they come with “fresh air vents” now.