WASHINGTON, D.C. It has surpassed the point of being a boomlet and now is officially a phenomenon, according to experienced Washington power brokers. With the publication of a Robert Reich oped on the subject in today’s Boston Herald, the “Draft Hillary” movement has become a factor in next year’s presidential race despite perfunctory denials by the former First Lady and current Secretary of State.
“Stop it–now I’m going to have a hickey!”
“I am thoroughly engaged in my current position, which exposes me to abuse on the part of tinpot dictators around the globe on a daily basis,” Hillary Clinton said as she boarded a commercial jet bound for Upper Tabasco, an emerging power in central Africa. “Now that we have bedroom surveillance cameras at home, I can travel without fear of intern-transmitted sexual diseases.”
“I’m going to miss you too, big guy.”
But Clinton’s rise would mean someone must fall, a fact of life that has Vice President Joseph Biden down in the dumps. “How I gonna break this to the Big O?” he asks plaintively, referring not to former Cincinnati Royals’ great Oscar Robertson but to President Obama. “I don’t think he’s going to take being pushed out the door too well.”
Not the president.
Biden is often criticized for his lack of astuteness in political matters, causing the President embarrassment on the occasion of the passage of healthcare reform by saying “This is a big [vulgar qualifier derived from verb meaning to copulate] deal!” loudly enough to be heard by the White House press corps. “It was a mistake,” Biden later admitted to the President behind closed doors in the Oval Office. “If I talk that way in the future, I’ll make sure we put it on HBO and get cable revenue.”
According to his staff Biden is going out of his way to make the President’s transition to private life seamless, making calls to the deans of Syracuse University Law School and the University of Delaware, his alma maters, to see if he can line up an adjunct teaching position. “You’ll like him,” Biden said as he spoke on his cell phone while moving family pictures into the Oval Office. “He’s really articulate.”
