BOSTON, Mass. Sharon Sanford is a top motivational speaker with a long list of credits on her resume, including a closed-door session for sales reps that turned around struggling computer hardware manufacturer Infomatrix. “My guys walked out of the Convention Center convinced they could walk on water,” says Executive Vice President Norman Zerbert. “Unfortunately, we were right on the Atlantic Ocean, so a couple of them drowned.”
Boston Convention Center: “The Atlantic? Don’t even go there, man.”
But for now, Sharon is shelving her lucrative career giving “Imagine Your Way to Sales Superstardom!” talks because of the growing risk that she will be the victim of a disgruntled shoe-thrower, which in the past few months have hit both former President Bush and Chinese Prime Minister Wen Jiabao.
Wen Jiabao: “This bad boy can handle anything you’ve got.”
“I told my speakers bureau, I’m not going out unless you get me a license to carry concealed shoes,” she says, her eyes darting from side to side after finishing a session for Modern Moosehead Indemnity, a property and casualty insurer. “Anybody chucks a Florsheim at me, they’re going something worse than a Pappagallo espadrille right back at them.”
Pappagallo espadrilles: You’ll wish they’d thrown these at you.
Other well-known speakers agree. Dave Forstberg, a former Detroit Lion who overcame ingrown fingernails to become the greatest extra-point holder in NFL history, says he won’t even speak to a Pop Warner team without a bodyguard carrying fully-loaded penny loafers to retaliate in case of trouble.
Lethal weapons
“Some of these kids are from pretty rough neighborhoods,” he says, as he takes a 4 x 6″ note card out of his inside jacket pocket with a furtive glance at twelve-year-old Anthony Masciari, a bruising 120-pound nose tackle for the East Boston, Mass., Flying Ravioli. “I make $300 for a one-hour speech–it ain’t worth it.”
“Please check your shoes at the door.”
Academics say the rest of the world is just catching up to a level of violence they’ve been exposed to for years, especially as winter turns to spring and students’ thoughts turn to less weighty matters than Kant’s Third Critique. “If you ever want to get a concussion from a Doc Marten’s boot,” says graduate assistant Tim Van Allen, “try assigning a 20-page term paper the Friday before spring break.”
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