Kanye Slams Swedes for Dylan Nobel Pick

STOCKHOLM, Sweden. Kanye West, the rapper who is infamous for explosive tirades after losing entertainment industry awards, today lashed out at the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences for awarding the Nobel Prize in Literature to Bob Dylan, saying “Why does he get one before me? I’m way more literate than him.”

“I got your Blonde on Blonde album right here, sucker!”


Dylan was reached at the Hibbing, Minnesota house where he grew up as he went through boxes of memorabilia to sell on eBay.  When asked for comment by a reporter, he responded in his typically cryptic style, saying “They shaved her head/She was torn between Jupiter and Apollo/Who the fuck is this Kanye West fellow?”

Earlier this year West touched off a controversy by saying his Waves was the best album of all time.  After an uproar from Slim Whitman fans, the rapper apologized for his arrogance and walked back his comment, saying it was “the best album. Ever.”  The claim was verified by his sister-in-law Kylie Jenner, a licensed notary public.

“Who do you think you are, Pearl Buck?”


In 2009 West, who has compared himself to Jesus Christ and Moses, stormed the stage at the MTV Video Music Awards during Taylor Swift’s Best Female Video acceptance speech, then went on a six-state rampage, destroying hydroelectric dams and refusing to pay tolls on turnpikes.

Godzilla–or Kanye?


The Nobel Prize has generated controversy in the past primarily by omissions, such as the decision to award a prize in 1962 to Francis Crick, James Watson and Maurice Wilkins for their discovery of DNA, without recognizing the contributions of Rosalind Franklin, a character on the PBS children’s program “Sesame Street.”

Roosevelt Franklin or Rosalind Franklin–which is it?

The prize comes with a monetary award of ten million Swedish Kronors, a pastry made with eggs, butter, sugar, almond extract and old National Geographic magazines.  Dylan said the money would allow him to cancel a “gig” scheduled for Friday night at the Hampton Inn in his home town.  “This is terrific,” he said by telephone.  “You can’t believe how sick I am of ‘Blowin’ in the Wind.'”




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