Lithuanian Landladies May Hold Key to Election

WORCESTER, Mass.  In this, the second-largest but often-overlooked city in New England, final get-out-the-vote efforts are focussing on a slice of the national demographic that pundits, pollsters and politicians have overlooked until the last minute–Lithuanian landladies, sometimes referred to as “Triple L’s.”


One of Worcester’s many railroad car diners.

 

“The parties have tested voters every which way,” says Clark University political scientist Melvin D’Onofrio.  “Lithuanian landladies do not respond to calls or door-to-door canvassing because they’re out collecting their rents.”


“You’re a nice boy, but you’re two months behind.”

 

Each ticket had reason to believe they had the Lithuanian landlady vote sewed up, according to Nelson Camera, a pollster affiliated with the State University of New York-Plattsburgh.  “The Democrats thought they would take the Lithuanian landlady vote because  Clinton’s a woman,” he notes.  “What they didn’t count on is that many ‘Triple-L’s’ wear goofy-looking wigs, so they’re partial to Trump.”


The Miss Worcester Diner

 

Worcester is home to many railroad car diners, which Lithuanian landladies generally avoid as dens of iniquity.  “I stopped in to the Miss Worcester Diner one time and I heard a fellow say h-e-double hockey stick,” says Helen Vilunias, who is president of the Lithuanian-American Residential Property Owners Association.  “That was enough for me.”  As a result, political candidates who eat in diners in an effort to appear to be regular guys and gals often bypass venues where Lithuanian landladies congregate, such as church ham and bean suppers and charity bingo games.

“We tried robo-dialling them, but we didn’t get our message through,” says Trump campaign spokesman Ty McComb.  “The Lithuanian landladies would listen to our pitch, then they’d tell us not to have boy-girl parties after seven p.m.”

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3 thoughts on “Lithuanian Landladies May Hold Key to Election

    1. As Arthur Miller once said “I wish I knew where my ideas came from, I’d go there more often.” I lived in Worcester and had a Lithuanian landlady who was wonderfully clueless about what was going on in the world. She actually lowered our rent because she felt sorry for us.

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