I Love it When a Woman Snores

I love it when a woman snores,
I rate it higher than s’mores,
or Hydrox  cookies, chicken (fried);
It means, I think, she’s satisfied.

That gentle sound recalls to mind
A buzzsaw whizzing through plank  pine.
A lower pitch, the basso sort,
Sounds like a shrimp boat leaving port.

Then there’s the “schnuck” noise that escapes
from her mouth left all  agape.
I’ll leave off there, don’t want to slay ya
With all my onomatopoeia.

I’ll add one tip, for further study,
You’ll thank me loud and call me “buddy”;
If you value your marriage and/or your life,
Confine your research  to your wife.


2 thoughts on “I Love it When a Woman Snores

    1. Someday I’ll write an O. Henry Gift of the Magi story where the woman gets her husband a Snore-Guard but it turns out he’s already had his epiglottis clipped out, which my wife keeps suggesting/threatening for me.

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