Ben Jonson’s Ode to a Shopping Mall

               In 1609 Ben Jonson was hired to write a work in celebration of the opening of a new shopping mall.

                                                                 Ben Jonson: A Life, Ian Donaldson

 

Drinke to me, onely, with thine eyes,
And your lids will soon over-runneth;
You’d do better visiting our new Food Court
For a smoothie that’s lots of funneth.

When you’re done and you’ve expanded in size
Down the escalator you should runneth
To the Plus-Size Women’s Clothing Store
(Insert here another punneth.)

Or you could take several yoga classes
At Hatha Helpers, where tuition’s
So low you can pay it without a care–
We’re upscale but not patrician.

Now about those eyes—if you require glasses,
We’ve a resident optician
Who’ll make up specs for you in a flash;
I tell you, they’re truly magicians.

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