The Thing About Millennials

A problem that’s recently developed–
I hope it won’t become perennial–
is the chronic self-absorption
of the people known as millennials.

There are many such in my building
who take the elevator down
at noon for prandial excursions
around about Boston town.

Instead of politely debarking,
when they arrive at the ground floor,
they stand there and stare at their phones
and won’t come out the door.

I have to gently remind them
exactly where they are;
not back in school in their dorm rooms
or at a singles bar.

Then finally they look up from their reverie,
and deign to exit the car.
I’m telling you these young geniuses
are certain to go very far.

When they return from getting take-out
each mid-twenty-something eats a
salad (God forbid) made of kale
or worse, a single-slice pizza.

While they fly through the air to their high-rise lairs
they munch like a bunch of drones
you’re stuck with the smell of their mid-day repast
while again, they stare at their phones.

It makes one feel slightly aged,
and that’s why this lyric is sung,
I ask myself, quite enraged,
Why is youth wasted on the young?

8 thoughts on “The Thing About Millennials

  1. I have a GenX nephew, a millennial niece and millennial kids (2). My kids are really normal. They don’t seem to be part of a prototype. That said, I do see plenty of prototypes around. Hubs looks into his phone while talking, and looks at his phone at the movies and….

  2. I’m upset about the Millennials that they are doing exactly what the Boomers did – proclaim their generation the greatest. Well, Tom Brokaw solved that one in his book The Greatest Generation, parents of Boomers. We Boomers had a great, great time. The Greatest Generation, our parents, notsomuch. But our parents did have much broader selection of not-expensive housing or college, and an immense number of jobs available. Unfortunately, we Boomers clogged that up. Millennials, oh well.

  3. There is certainly more than one “thing” about The Millennial. (What was my body even thinking back in the late 1980s and early 1990s?)

    1. We sublet space to a youth-oriented company. It’s comical to ride in an elevator with 5 or 6 of them, all talking to each other, no eye contact cause they’re all looking at their phones.

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